On fiddling in government

Wise Words: fiddle

In Europe, elections are just around the corner. In September, they’re in Germany, in October, they’re in Greece (and possibly again in November depending on the result). And between now and 3 June 2010, the general election will be held in the UK. Despite the different dates, the candidates are campaigning just as hard in all three countries.

Technically, Prime Minister Gordon Brown could call an election any day now. He won’t, however, because when he does, he’s unlikely to win an outright majority. Funnily enough, the same can be said of the incumbents in Greece and Germany.

We may be looking forward to a hung parliament in all three countries — and to coalition governments. In Germany, it’s not unusual to have a coalition. In the UK, however, it is. As we don’t have an election system based on proportional representation, one party usually wins enough seats to hold the majority. We haven’t really had a hung parliament since 1974 — and that government only lasted a few months.

In the case of a hung parliament, the smaller parties will have their shot at power. In Germany, you have a choice depending on your political preferences: Die Linke, the Greens and the Free Democrat party. In the UK, there’s only the Liberal Democrat Party.

Playing second fiddle Photo: Shahn/Library of Congress

Clegg won't “play second fiddle”

It's a nice soundbite, but it's just another of those empty promises that politicians tend to repeat in the run-up to an election. Clegg hasn’t got a snowball’s chance in hell of winning an outright majority at the next general election, so if he wants to play a role in the next government, he will play second fiddle. If he’s lucky, he may get to choose whom to play with.

He should have made a very different promise using a completely different meaning of “fiddle”. If he does play a role in the next government, he should promise that all his party members won’t be on the fiddle. Someone who is on the fiddle is cheating or acting in a fraudulent way.

Any MP who doesn’t fiddle expenses would get my vote — if I still had one. Unfortunately, because I've lived abroad for more than 15 years, the UK doesn’t want my vote any more. And not having a German passport means I can’t vote in Germany either. The same goes for Greece.

During all the upcoming election days in Europe I guess I’ll be fiddling away the time with less important tasks.

Learn to use “fiddle”

• “Someone has been fiddling with my computer settings.”
  
  
• “He’s been fiddling his expenses. He’s been staying with relatives, but charging the company for an expensive hotel room.”
  
  
• "The whole family were on the fiddle — they were claiming social security benefits although they were working."

• “Stop fiddling with the flowers! It’s so annoying.”
  
  
• “She may be over 70, but she’s as fit as a fiddle!”
  
  
• "This must be some kind of a fiddle."
  
  
• "They'd been fiddling the books for years."