You're not a wimp!

As I mentioned last week, I spent the weekend in Posnan. It’s a fantastic city that is rich in history and buzzing with nightlife. The Besig conference I attended was also fantastic. It was rich in information — and buzzing with ideas.

Vicki Hollett in action

Vicki Hollett, author of a wide range of Business English textbooks, was the keynote speaker at the conference. I’ve felt that I’ve known Vicki for years although I’d only met her online beforehand. I’ve also used many of her books in my business English classes. When I started teaching, her books formed the basis of many of my lessons — and my students loved them. In at the Deep End is my personal favourite. Her humour and love for the language is evident on every page. It was published the year I started teaching in Munich (1989) and the title reflected how I felt at the time — I was thrown in at the deep end.

Vicki has a wonderful blog about her musings on learning to speak 'merican. She’s British, but now lives in the US. She shared her ideas with us in her entertaining talk at Besig. I’d like to share one of them with you today.

The Wise Word I’ve picked for this week is one that Vicki used in her talk: whimperative. It’s a blend of “whimper” and “imperative”. It refers to a whimpering way to make a request or to give an order. Here are a few examples:

• Can I use your phone?
• May I use your phone?
• Could you open the window?
  
• Do you mind if I open the window?
  
• Would you mind terribly if I didn’t join you? 
• Would you mind opening the door for me?
  
• Would it be possible for me to come a little later to the meeting?

As you go down the lists of requests above they become more and more of a whimper. But why do we use such whimpering requests — and why is it important that learners of English know how to use them correctly?

Steven Pinker, a Harvard professor and expert on language and cognition, gives one of the best explanations as to why we use whimperatives. In Time, he writes: “Your goal is to have your need satisfied without treating the listener as a flunky who can be bossed around at will.”

Which is why we don't need to use the strong whimperatives with intimate friends or with perfect strangers. As Vicki pointed out, you can say to your friend “Here’s my coat” if you want that person to hang it up, and you can also say to the attendant at the cloakroom “Here’s my coat”. It would be ridiculous to say “Would you mind terribly if you took my coak?” to either of them. We use strong whimperatives with the people in the middle — which is most of the people we meet when doing business.

If you’re the boss, you can use the requests at the top of the list — if you’re in a subordinate position and you are asking for something that you know will cause somebody a lot of hassle, you would use the whimperatives at the bottom of the list.

Use whimperatives to create a better relationship. Use them to show respect. You’re not a wimp if you use whimperatives. You're just being more polite.

Stary Rynek (the Old Market Square)

Ian McMaster and me

Old City Hall

Beautiful detail