Decision time

After four years, it is time for the good people of Germany to decide who they want as a government for the next four years.

On Sunday, Germans will go to the polls after possibly the most low-key (read: boring) election campaign in the history of elections. The only interesting moment was when a well-known comedian announced his spoof election manifesto, including free cosmetic surgery for all.

The real election campaign just never took off. One reason is that the two main candidates — Angela Merkel, the current and (almost certainly) future chancellor, and Frank-Walter Steinmeier, the current (and possibly) future foreign secretary — are about as uncharismatic (read: boring) as it is possible for politicians to be and still have a pulse.

Two things are remarkable about the grand coalition of Merkel's Christian Democrats and Steinmeier's Social Democrats. First, despite the bullshit spouted by so-called experts four years ago, the coalition easily lasted the full electoral term. Second, the people of Germany seem fundamentally happy with their government. Unlike in Britain, there is no great desire for change.

Germany is split down the middle. Around half the voters support the conservative and free-market parties (CDU, CSU and FDP). The other half support the left-of-centre parties (SPD, Green Party and the Left).

And the truth is that it really doesn't matter too much which coalition rules Germany after Sunday. The country's politicians are too serious and sensible to upset its success and stability. And the system of proportional representation guarantees coalitions and compromise.

But bloggers are supposed to have opinions, so here are mine:

• My wish for the country: a continutation of the grand coalition, which can get back to governing well once the election campaign is over.
• My prediction: a narrow win for the "black-yellow" coalition of the conservative parties (CDU and Bavarian CSU) and the Free Democrats (FDP).
• And my own vote goes to... well, nobody. I'm not allowed to vote here, although I am somehow allowed to pay taxes. But don't get me started on that.