Roundtable: Talking about small talk

Melita: Oh, it’s lovely out, isn’t it? 

Rachel: It’s beautiful. It’s much better than ­yesterday. 

Richard: Have you got any plans for the weekend? 

Rachel: I’m be off to (ifml.)(irgendwohin) gehen, fahrenoff to Vienna with my family for a quick getawayTrip, Ausfluggetaway. What about you? 

Melita: Any guessVermutungguesses what our chosen topicThematopic is? You got it: small talk. I’m here in our virtual studio with magazine editorRedakteur(in)editors Richard and Rachel. Hello, guys. 

Richard: Hi, Melita. 

Rachel: Hi, Melita. 

Melita: It’s great to have you here. So, I want you to imagine you’re in a conference room with a group of people you don’t know that well. You’re all about to start working together that day. As the session begins, perhaps you might use some icebreakers. These help people to feel more comfortable when they’re talking to strangers. But after the initial icebreaker, it’s also a good idea to engage in sth.an etw. teilnehmen, sich auf etw. einlassenengage in some small talk. Now, I know not everybody likes small talk. Some of us prefer to have deep chats, but those chats aren’t necessarily the ones we’re going to be having at a first business meeting. Let’s start by finding out what we think about small talk.

Rachel: I think these small moments that don’t really mean anything can be really nice. I like talking about the weather, about how bad the coffee machine is and what I did at the weekend. And I think it’s just a nice way to break the ice or start the day without getting too deep. And I don’t think this has to be in just a business settingUmfeldsetting. I think all of these little micro-­interactions can really improve someone’s day. 

Richard: I think working from home during the pandemic taught us all the value of these interactions. And I think small talk is important to ease sth.etw. erleichternease the social and business interactions that you go through during the day, and you get to know people better. 

Melita: I have heard a lot of people complaining about small talk or saying that it feels like hard work. But I, personally, really see the value in it. But that might be because I just really like talking as well. And I do sometimes have the tendency to oversharezu viele persönliche Informationen preisgebenovershare. You know, not everybody wants to know about your digestive issueVerdauungsstörungdigestive issues. So, that is perhaps not the topic to go for sth.sich für etw. entscheidengo for. It is worth remembering that some topics might be a bit taboo, especially in certain cultures. So, it’s better to keep things light. There is a reason why we talk so much about the weather. You’re ­unlikely to offend sb.jmdn. kränkenoffend someone by talking about sun, clouds and rain. What do you guys find hard about small talk, if anything? 

Rachel: I think sometimes it can be difficult to find common groundeine gemeinsame Basis findenfind common ground, depending on who you’re talking to. If you don’t know that person very well, then it might be hard to find a sharedgemeinsamshared topic. But the nice thing about small talk is that, if it’s trickyschwierigtricky, if you notice it’s not really going any­where, it doesn’t matter. A few seconds of chit-chat (ifml.)Geplauderchit-chat’s enough. 

Richard: I think it’s difficult to know how to start. You know, what questions should you ask? What should I say? And then, once it’s going, it’s OK. But then, there’s always a little bit of a fear of awkwardnessUnbehagenawkwardness. You know, am I going to say something that will offend this person? Or should I ask about their children, because maybe they don’t like that? I don’t want to go too far or overstep the markdie Grenze überschreitenoverstep the mark. 

Melita: Yeah, there can definitely be some moments which feel a little bit cringey (ifml.)peinlichcringey. I find particularly if you’re talking to someone who isn’t that talkativegesprächigtalkative, who doesn’t respond very much to the small talk in the way you’re expecting, then sometimes that can lead to some awkwardunangenehmawkward silences. What differences have you guys noticed between approachVorgehensweiseapproaches to small talk in business in your home country and in Germany? 

Rachel: There isn’t much small talk in Germany. And I’ve noticed that, in general, communication is more efficient, and talking about things that don’t really matter isn’t particularly constructive. So, that’s perhaps a reason why small talk isn’t seen as very important here. 

Richard: What we would see as a little small talk quickly turns into a discussion. Like, I think people tend to ask quite serious questions all of a sudden when you say, “Oh, I’m going to somewhere at the weekend.” Suddenly, you’re in a deep discussion about whether that’s a good idea or not, or what you think of this place. 

Melita: I remember talking to some friends in Germany who were outragedaufgebrachtoutraged by the fact that one of their British colleagues would go down the corridor and just greet them by saying, “All right?” and then just walk past them. And, you know, this friend of mine told me, “Oh, this is so rudeunhöflichrude. This person clearly isn’t interested in getting to know me because they asked me if I was all right, but then didn’t want to hear the response.” I think sometimes these micro-moments can just be a little bit misunderstood. You know, if someone asks you how you’re doing, you might not necessarily answer, in the UK at least, with a whole summaryZusammenfassungsummary of how your day has been or how you’re feeling. You might just give a really quick response. So, I think sometimes it’s just sort of understanding the meaning behind the question — whether the meaning is actually the same as what the words convey sth.etw. zum Ausdruck bringenconvey. But I think small talk does definitely have its uses, particularly in intercultural business or business in a country where small talk is very popular. What do you guys think? How is small talk useful in business? 

Rachel: I think it helps people feel comfortable, and it offers the chance for a shared experience at the start of a conversation and makes the situation feel less formal. I think if you’re meeting people for the very first time, and you might be in a very formal office setting, it’s nice to have a few moments that are more relaxed.

Richard: I think small talk is often underestimated actually in business. I think it’s very important to get to know a person’s communication style. You know, when they speak, how they express themselves. What sort of sense of humour do they have? And when you then start talking about business, that’s useful to know. It gives you a better idea of what they mean when they say certain things. 

Melita: Yeah, I think it really helps to understand the way someone communicates and sometimes people do have go-to topic (US)Lieblingsthemago-to topics. And once you get to know somebody, you might ­begin to identify a few patternhier: Verhaltensmusterpatterns. Do you have any go-to topics or are there any small talk phrases that you use a lot? 

Rachel: Like all Brits, I like talking about the weather and the traffic. And I like to ask about someone’s journey. And because I’m nosy (ifml.)neugierignosy, I like finding out the neighbourhood they live in and then finding common ground in a restaurant that they like to visit there and so on. And, of course, this is highly dependent on who you’re talking to in certain situations. You can’t ask a client who you’ve never met before about her favourite hauntLieblingsorthaunts. Then, you just have to learn to be a little bit sensitiveeinfühlsamsensitive, tactful, and ask the right questions. And I think that comes with practice. 

Richard: Yeah, I need practice, I think. If we were somewhere, in a new place, like if we were at a trade fair or a conference, I ask people about how they travelled there because you can often talk about things to do with public transport(ation)öffentlicher Nahverkehrpublic transportation or strange people you see on the train, that sort of thing. 

Melita: Great, well, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on small talk. I suppose we had a big talk about small talk today. That was a terrible joke. If any of our listeners out there have particularly strong feelings about small talk, or maybe you just want to gain a better understanding of why we use so much small talk, feel free to message and we’ll get back to you. You can find us @business.spotlight_official on Instagram and @business-spotlight on LinkedIn. Thanks so much, guys. Bye-bye.

Rachel: Thanks, Melita. 

Richard: Bye, Melita.